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I'm glad I'm not your boyfriend...

And now for an undercover revelation from inside the hearts and minds of an X nude model, X stripper, X escort, X lesbian porn star, and those who love her. Be careful what you ask for, Gentle Readers...

Hooker Game

Miss Lovely is not a hooker anymore. Technically, she never was.* BF said something about it. We know.

I'm so honored to have been Miss Lovely's last and final customer of her career as a call girl!
:-) (tear)

But ML won't discuss it with me, a "friend" and "former customer", on her own volition -- no talk, no texts, no emails, no ESP. I'm very glad if true! Of course, I have no way of knowing whether it's true or not...not ever...nobody does. Nobody knows what any significant other is up to, do they? And these bad girls are masters of Machiavelli. The Ultimate Pickup Artists. Do I care? Do I dare?

Even the definitions change in secret. "Customer" does not equal "friend"? "Working" does not equal FWFB? "Boyfriend" does not equal BF? Who the fuck knows? Getting played requires radio silence. Or lies.

To be fair, we're playing a far more serious game than that... The stakes are life and death. According to her doctor, she should be dead now... Big Brother wants to destroy everything in her life, even if it kills her... I'm trying to protect her...don't know if I can... Can't say life is boring hangin wit Miss Lovely!

Pimp Game

"He's not my pimp! Why does everybody keep saying that? I was an independent contractor," Miss Lovely declares for the umpteenth time. "BF thought he was driving me to 'stripper outcalls'." Until the cops set him straight. lol. Something about an irate GF running a sting with actual cops after stealing her BF's cellphone... He can't keep up with her 140 I.Q..

He's got his good qualities. Seems like a nice guy, once upon a time. Trying to be again? He stuck with her no matter how bad and sick she was. While he abandoned his 5 kids, and her family abandoned her. He's getting better. He'd make a great salesman, if he could stay clean and sober, unlike the other salesmen. PUA skills are just sales closing skills. The best salesmen are often former drug dealers.

BF: "I told her to quit bothering you," since I'm starting to crack under the financial pressure. But she needs money and transportation TO LIVE AND STAY OUT OF JAIL AND TAKE CARE OF HER BABY that BF refuses to work and pay for, or get disability and pay for. If I don't do it, someone else will? Would she let him? She needs daily rescue, 'cause being around BF 24/7 would make anyone go back to using just to escape, and whoring to survive (corporate whoring included). Companionship without drama of impending violence and loss.

"But he did pay my (pill) bills for awhile..." she pleads (with herself). And he tolerated EVERYTHING, while under the influence. She's a Good Girl who wants a good family life with her presumed babydaddy...a one-way-open relationship with her fringe benefits...prolly lots of FsWB. Don't know if therapy or love can fix that...or if it should be fixed. She's never had stability, too scary to start now? Instability feels more comfortable? Too dangerous to invest feelings in only one man? Or two? Or more? Diversified investment portfolio is a legitimate strategy to avoid financial and emotional loss.

"Being a (former) drug dealer don't count," I protest too much. "The risk of jail, addiction and poverty is to too high to maintain a sane relationship." Shooting up and going to jail together is not a sound basis to bond and build a stable family life. She's scared...still can't face that reality...so many folks in this world can't. Affordable price to pay for this lifestyle choice? This disease. It's a mystery of dissociation, a product of a lifetime of corporate and family brainwashing. But I can't compete with that, apparently. Do I want to? She wants to spend her life with dopers, in recovery or not, depending on the day, month and year. It's her Comfort Zone, currently restricted to recovering addicts and licensed addicts. I cleaned up a decade before she was born...that only gets me in the door, it don't close the deal...but now we're creating new disasters for bonding... I feel she's worth the effort.

BF cleaned up, only to keep up with Miss Lovely. BF got a job, to keep up with me. BF is satisfied to lose all his kids and go to jail and stay broke? BF is willing to risk her kicked out of her home for him destroying property and not paying rent while working? Of course he's still married to someone else, and soon to pay all his money in child support. Although he wants to, BF is not getting his GED, not applying for full-time work, not going to court and risking arrest. He's drowning. At least he signed up with a headshrinker, and may finally start psych meds...that typically drive folks insane or kill them...or help win disability where he needs to be for a stable home life. I admit that spending time with a drug-addicted working girl is a huge distraction to financial success...requiring plenty of psymeds and talk therapy. She's no longer addicted...to drugs, just drama, and love for her new baby...a healthy addiction? A natural addiction required for survival of the human race, that government wants to destroy.

BF is busy reading her texts and sending her texts(!), instead of going to court and the shrink (I admit reading a ho's phone is entertainment, so long as you don't give a fuck). As if she's not mad enough at dealers and customers to do that herself -- startin to feel that healthy rage! "If I wasn't using I'd kill all my customers." Well, she's not using any more... It's her "friends" he's worried about? Me?

I offered her a place to live -- same as her other "X" lovers in love wit her are beggin. In case doper BF stayed on dope, she asked me to be ready to move in with her to accomplish her emergency goals...I said Yes. The M-word was spoken, in case of legal necessity...a concept too scary for her inner childs.

"You don't get something for nothing," I didn't tell BF. "Do you really think I'm gonna invest all my time, life and energy, go through all kinds of stress, and throw away every spare dollar I have, even giving up my renta-girls to fuck, to pay all of Miss Lovely's bills, just so you can lay around HER house 24/7 and run abusive pimp game on her?" I didn't say. "The house where she refuses to have sex with you 27 days every month, but does have sex with me...and other men who love her... WTFU!" I want to say.

BF's fav term of endearment for Miss Lovely...

Pimp Hand
1. The hand used to smack your ho's around.
2. The ability to be a pimp who has control over his ho's and brings in mad money as a result.
"My hos know that they will get a strong pimp hand if they don't do as I say and bring me cold hard cash hourly."
3. "My pimp hand is strong, that's why I have all this gold jewelry and flashy clothes" - or - "My pimp hand is weak, and my ho's aren't representin'"
4. A sign of virility, strength or social efficacy. An informal measure of one's ability to mack, pimp, or generally to get play, action or get your freak on. Generally characterized as "strong" or "weak."
5. To "exercise one's pimp hand": to increase one's skill at short-term sexual interactions, or to demonstrate such.
6. One's ability to control one's bitches.
7. A back-handed slap, used to emphasize superiority, or a forthcoming need to choke a bitch.
"Damn, son! Yo' ass picked up some *fine* bitches last night! Yo' pimp hand is strong!"
"You're losing your touch, man. Come out to the club tonight so we can exercise your pimp hand."
"His strong pimp hand keeps his hos in line."
"You gonna take that shit?! Introduce yo' pimp hand to that bitch ass motherfucker!"
-Urban Dictionary

Donkey Punch with Alex Devine is BF's fav term of endearment for Miss Lovely...no wonder her friends want to kill him?

Donkey punch is a slang term for a fictitious (sic) sexual practice supposedly performed during doggy style sex, particularly anal sex. The purported practice involves the penetrating partner punching the receiving partner on the back of the head or in the lower back to make the receiving partner's anal or vaginal passage tense up, thus increasing the pleasure of the penetrative partner. In fact, there is no reflex in humans that would cause such tensing in response to a blow on the head, although striking a partner on the back of the neck or head could cause severe, even lethal injury. The adult film star credited as the first known recipient of a donkey punch is Gia Paloma, who had the act performed on her by Alex Sanders in the 2004 film Gutter Mouths 30. Donkey Punch, a pornographic film premised around the act, was released by JM Productions in 2005. The film consists of four scenes in which the male actors engage in rough sex with their female co-stars, punching them repeatedly in the head and body throughout. In response to her experience on the set, performer Alex Divine allegedly stated "Donkey Punch was the most brutal, depressing, scary scene that I have ever done". U.S. Senator Maria Cantwell, in a 2004 press release about the Enron hearings, identified the Donkey Punch as "a crude pornographic term", one of many "lewd acts" that Enron employees used to describe their schemes. The term received extensive coverage online after it was mistakenly given as an answer on the January 16, 2012 broadcast of the game show Jeopardy!.
-Wikipedia, Donkey punch

"Ok, I am finally going to reply to this.... DONKEY PUNCH was the most brutal, depressing, scarey scene that I have ever done. I have tried to block it out from my memory due to the severe abuse I recieved during the filming. I had been made to believe that the scene was going to be more sex, penetration, and rough as opposed to being 'beat up' with a few penetrations. The guy, Steve French has a natural hatred towards women in the sense that he has always been known to be more brutal than EVER needed. I agreed to do the scene thinking it was less beating, except the 'punch' in the head. If you noticed, steve had worn his solid gold ring the entire time, and continued to punch me with it. I actually stopped the scene while it was being filmed because I was in too much pain. I begged for him to remove the ring but he refused. That almost made me walk off the set and say 'fuck it'. I sucked it up and wanted to finish so i would be paid. With he ring on his hand still, we continued the scene. Now i am not sure how much you all know about me, but I have had some major surgeries on my head. One was on the lower back right of my skull.... The doctor never replaced the bone there because it grows back on its own. It had been several years since that surgery, and i now have grown a strong cartilage in place of my missing bone. I had specifically explained that Steve could not hit that spot, and that anywhere else on my head was fine. I explained this to him as well, showing him on my head the places. He acknowledged the request of mine. As the pop happened he punched me several times in the head. Exactly where he was told not to. He did it with the ring on too. You can hear me scream in pain 'wrong side! ow, ow, wrong side!' in the movie and trailer. I had to re-do the pop shot/donkey punch for 'better footage' while in pain, and he wore the damn ring again. At the end of my scene they had me sit on the couch with the directors and explain that I was ok and was willing to do the scene. I was in tears I sincerely hope that no one enjoys that scene. I want to cry when I think about it."
-Alex Devine, Adult World News

Alex talks to French more than 8 times about hitting her with "that hand" or "that ring" for the scene. She does laugh about it once early on, but is definitely angry about it towards the end of the shoot. Alex threatens to "not finish the shoot" to the cameraman about 2/3 of the way thru the scene if French "uses that hand again." French tries to choke her a couple of times and she clearly says "don't choke me," to him...and he complies. He even says (staying "in character" it would seem) "I won't choke you" or "I won't hurt you," and complies with her request to not choke her. So clearly, he could understand her and, when he wished, not do things she asked. During one of the early anal entries she cries out in pain and asks for a break, and he complies again, clearly understanding her and withdraws from her anus. The part where she is hit on the "wrong" side of her head (seen in the trailer) occurs WHILE French comes in her ass. She says quite plainly "PLEASE STOP" and pulls away, but he's already come. The cameraman/director THEN starts talking and says "WAIT, RIGHT THERE" and then the scene cuts as Alex pulls away from French and accuses him of hitting her on "the wrong side."
-SickandTired describes on ADT the Alex Devine scene in DonkeyPunch

I have been hearing about this video for a couple of months now but didn't give it much thought until I read the gut wrenching story of one of the participants. I mean not even I would have thought that they were doing this for real, that it wasn't staged. And even if it was...how f stupid do you have to be to foist this on the adult industry at this time? Apparently you have to be as stupid as Jeff Mike, honcho at JM Productions. Who released this abortion. When I brought up the issue with Paul Fishbein, Head Honcho at AVN he had this to say: "We won't review Donkey Punch movies anymore." I, for one, do not want my name associated with an industry that would support this. This is not free speech, this is aggravated assault and aggravated assault is NOT protected free speech. So a BIG f--- YOU to JM Productions for having no concern for fellow pornographers. If they want to be an outcast I say fine, lets treat them as one. Distributors can refuse to carry their product, retailers can refuse to buy it and industry publications can refuse to sell them ad space. [Adultdvdempire.com refused to stock it...good for them] And at the same time maybe all of the above can avoid the criminal charges that may come from having it on your shelves. Can we as an industry finally say "We may not know where the line is but this has certainly crossed it?"
-Mike South Vs. Donkey Punch

That's debatable. " No, it's not. Unless you think whether people should freely sit around & watch snuff movies is somehow a debatable issue. Or think that aggravated assault is somehow a "debatable issue." It just amazes me how many of you turn off your brains -- & any sense of decency -- once the blood starts flowing to your dicks (or clits, not to leave out the self-hating, mysogynist women out there who have learned to love & emulate their torturers). Glad it's all academic to you from your armchair, bub.
-David Aaron Clark, Steven French should be in jail - not in porn?

Donkey punching, for the blessedly unaware is usually an anal sex thing. The top punches the bottom in the back of the head. The shock of this is supposed to make the sphincter muscles contract, giving the penetrating penis a good old squeeze. What I said was: "there is no scientific evidence of a link between head trauma and the involuntary tightening of the anal muscles. Sadly there is also no scientific evidence that punching someone in the head will make them realise they should leave the relationship." What my friend said was: "My mate and his now ex g-f had a particularly kinky relationship and he said they did it all the time."
-Snopes Topic: Donkey Punching

Christians use porn on billboards to protect their womenz

"The way to get a hot girl is to ignore the fuck out of her. That's how I got this one!" BF preaches old skool PUA while attempting to beat her down with negativity and "comedic" threats of donkey violence. I've helped kill plenty for Uncle Scam, so water off a SEALS back for me...not scared of a "violent" pimp lol.

"I agree 100%," I play along. "Or just treat them nice as normal human beings, not hot bodies," I keep to myself. "That's why they throw themselves at me in the strip club and Fuckbook...that, and my money, of course, though some are now offering to pay me," I didn't say. These women are starved for affection and kindness...and orgasms...and good guys who don't run away with their panties in a wad. Every relationship requires money to survive... If you don't pay the bills, you don't get the girl. That's The Rule.

We're all fucked up a lil bit, in different ways, some more than others. We need to work as a team for all of us to survive. Everyone needs to share...and that includes Miss Lovely...

ML has BF there, not to love her as her butler manbitch, but to keep all other men away...except when pimpin her to strange men in strip clubs, which he's still willing to do to avoid work, or to avoid applying for disability ("I believe everybody who can work should work," whoring for him in a strip club or notel lol). She has BF on a $1,000-a-month retainer of free room and 4 free fucks. I'm the first she allowed to infiltrate her Cinderella castle on a daily basis...a castle I got her...and take her to play in strip clubs. Miss Lovely tries to introduce all her friends to BF, but they soon tire of paying his bills, or try to kill him. Hey, if he wants to share, more power to him. That's the price of hangin wit Miss Lovely. It's a very high price.

His insecurity resists her getting a regular job, "You'll run away with some guy at work..." Or going to rehab, "You'll forget all about me..." What did he say when she was whoring herself out? "I'm moving back to the trailer park," until she gave him her dope. He says, "I love you with all my heart. You're my soulmate. Now I'm gonna punch you in the back of the neck." Love is blind, and punchdrunk?

As she says, "He got that term from his homeboys a couple months ago." The niggas who taught him how to run pimp game on her with threats of violence while we were fucking all night, by making the calls for him....we had a good laugh. "It's just joking around... I love him, but I'm not in love with him... Time for a change..." Good, don't want her to become the next hoodrat. Too late?

She gave me a big hug and Thank You...all by herself. No PUA on my part at all. Something about my writing skillz. That's new!


"It's no trouble to help you. I enjoy it. It's certainly interesting, hardly never a dull moment," I tell her as we drive enjoying our few minutes of freedom from BF. "I can't let you die or lose your baby, because I love you...like more than a friend," I wish to say, but won't.

"Thank you. I'm still not feeling my feelings, clean and sober. I'm just trying to get through all this mess," she explains. Hard to feel feelings for one guy when fucking lots of guys, or nobody.

"Of course.......... Would you like to kiss me? Don't do anything you don't wanna do. We're not playing the hooker game anymore," I inquire. Since I'm driving, I don't want to play the PUA game 100% and make the first move. Safety first.

She tries to kiss me on the lips, but settles for kissing my cheek to avoid a fatality. My other X girl kissed me on the lips during that same maneuver...no fatality.

But ML passed the test... I smile.

If I dont play in the Preggie Friend Zone her doctor will kill me...literally

Friend Zone: If closing is a man's goal in the game, friendzoning is the woman's goal. Women do not want, initially, to date or fuck men--they want to be "friends" which means that they will assert their dominance by continually not fucking you. Not-fucking a man is the cruelest thing a woman can do without using a chainsaw, and for that reason women love to do it. Rumors that friends engage in any activities or relationship dynamics other than not-fucking are completely worthless propaganda spread by feminazis.
-The Pervocracy, A Brief Glossary of PUA Terminology

"So, you've got another week of the No Sex Zone, until your next O.B. appointment?"

"Maybe two weeks. Got to let the birth control kick in. As much as I love my baby, I'm not ready to have another one. For legal reasons."

"Yeah, you're super fertile right now. I'll give you a baby, if you want one," I joke a lil. I probably would, you know...I've never felt that way about a woman before...despite all the screaming red flags. "I think you're gonna be a great mommy!"

"Thank you but no thank you," she replies.

"So...can we discuss our, uh, 'relationship'? Whatever that is?" I throw a Hail Mary. Just a minute to our final destination.

"I'd rather not, not right now." Miss Lovely is shutting down with me, shutting down on herself, a normal reaction to the combat stress and PTSD she got this month. Can I open her up? Can I teach her love and sex can be one and the same, even for friends with benefits, financial or not? Guilt is a common problem with any fucking behind a BF's back...no dope to block that pain... Gotta fill up that Love Cup before you can love someone else...

"So what's up with your offer of sex one day a week?" I inquire. "If you enjoy being with someone, why limit your own enjoyment? If you don't want to be with someone, why bother?" $$$ n sense -- why sabotage your fav man's ability to earn money or force him to spend elsewhere? 90% of her lovers don't get her off, rape her in the ass, fuck her mommy, steal her money, or try to kill her or her family, which might have something to do with it.

Nothing says 'I love you' to Miss Lovely like being bound and gagged and raped at 6 years of age (cry)

"That's just the normal deal I have with all my BFs. That's normal for all relationships," she replies with her little girly girl voice. The aliens have landed... Did she just say I'm her BF, or "a" BF?! Tossing crumbs from her sexual banquet...

"Where the fuck did that come from?"

"That's just the way it is for everybody," she hallucinated matter-of-factly from her history of one-way-open-relationships. At least she's honest about the torture, unlike most LTR girls and wives. Or maybe she's right?! Guess I'm tired of Mediocracy, ready to escape to The Other Place -- been there, done that, enjoyed it very much thank you.

noun: mediocracy; plural noun: mediocracies
1. a dominant class consisting of mediocre people, or a system in which mediocrity is rewarded.
-The Urban Dictionary

My brain races to calculate the implications and permutations. Is her sex-one-day-per-week offer to me based upon (1) asking me to NOT pay her major bills, with "free" sex as reward for my efforts during this emergency? So who will pay her bills? ML, BF, or her "friends" with financial benefits? She no longer has to pay rent and food thanks to my help. Am I now expected to be her monogamous 2nd BF too, her "half husband" as I call it, but without sleeping benefits? Is she falling for me and this is her way to avoid terror of jealous "feelings" by forbidding me having sex, with her or anyone else? (2) limit our marathon sex games to limit our dangerous growing bond of "love you like a friend"? (3) cut me back to stop her from falling in love with me, to avoid getting crushed like daddys did her? (4) just a technical legal trick in the law of contracts to cheat me out of my financial investments, a time-honored cash-and-dash trick of Hooker Game for aging customers to be got rid of -- that she keeps warning me her sugargramps fell for? (5) Hooker game to high-gross me while cutting me back to one day per week? (6) Multiple personalities don't want to share days or some such shit? (7) Dead habit from the Opium Daze? Or the most likely: (8) All her half-dozen "friends" get the same offer as me, "free" sex once a week, so long as a "gift" was made or "bill was paid" in a reasonable period of time -- "just friends helping friends?" She does have a couple of "BFs" she's been fucking without payment, not customers...is that what I am now? Is that all I am now? I'm flying blind here.

Or, is her sex-one-day-per-week offer her ultimate compliment? That's sweet! Thank you!

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for whatever time we get together. I just wonder if you're planning to permanently cut me off 100% from sex, as you've done for six weeks? Like you say you're doing with all your other X customers who are also your friends." Attractive successful friends of all ages in love with her and care for her, and want to marry her (and kill for her), and pay her bills when I can't. But not major bills unless she dumps BF and moves out of her own place and moves in with one of them. Only my manbitchery is willing to pay BF's bills, for now, finally with help from pimpdaddy Uncle Sam. Actually, she didn't really say that -- is she only cutting off the 90% of customers who don't get her off, rape her in the ass or try to kill her? Are all her 10% "friends" getting the same deal as me, despite making 1% of my financial contribution and personal sacrifice during these past 3 months of "celebacy" (while they were busy saving their money and fucking hookers)? Or, will her friends be required to pay bills in return for sexual favors? She did cut me off sex after the end of her pregnancy, even BJs and HJs...despite my massive investment and stress during this emergency. It's "understandable" with the deadly stress she's under that would kill most people (lack of the "right" human touch actually increases her stress level...). Perhaps celebacy is all that's saving her life?

Or, is she really going monogamous with BF, maybe/maybenot fucking me one hour a week max, depending on her mood that day, and my PUA skills? Typical Good Girl bullshit...that's why I love hookers! I've never fucked the real Miss Lovely, clean and sober...looking forward to it, if she'll have me?

These are questions I have that are not being answered, and probably never will be.

I feel her slipping away... I feel our honesty slipping away...I will miss that...but I'm willing to fight for it... An open relationship with honesty, what a brilliant idea...for a one-way ticket to the loonybin. (sarcasm, or sanity?)

"No, I just can't think about that right now. I'm focused on more important things," she replied with dead seriousness. Same here, as I spend dozens of hours this week solving her problems all by my lonesome, sans PDA. I hope this new stress don't kill her love inside. I see a lot of potential there. It's my mission to feed and nurture that love, and see what God lets her be. She has flashes of brilliance -- a kind and nurturing soul, trapped in a raped and broken mind. With a wicked sense of humor, a beautiful laugh, a sexual overdrive, and looks to kill for, literally.

"I understand. If you cut me off, for whatever reason, that's fine with me," I take away. "You are most important to me. I only want what you want. And it would save me a lot of money lol!" Cutting me off is a real possiblilty, once I get all her support network in place, if only because our time and opportunity will become much more limited. Fair enough, I'm ready to face the Dating Game, probably. I will miss her, very much, at first, fading to a warm and fuzzy memory some day...a pleasant detour to disaster on the highway to Heaven, passing through Hell.

At any rate, there's a legal issue to solve before any relationship can survive. I will stick it out and help my young friend succeed at that. Even my old alky ex would agree, I do go all the way for my true friends. Bottom line, this is an affair, I'm the 3rd wheel, probably no more overnight dates (really sends BF off the deep end she says, but didn't care on dope), everything Top Secret covert ops, typical sucking while fucking...prolly without meeting daily emotional needs...certainly without meeting my daily sexual needs. I will miss her so much...until her replacement.

I will be replaced instantly, I'm sure, as is her way -- the secret to feeling no pain of rejection, and no thrill of love. A shark can't stop swimming, or it dies. Will she even notice I'm gone? Is that part of her gone, forever, lost in the shadows of her soul?

I'm still in the market for a real GF...that you never find until you live life and stop looking. Wide open throttle. Except now I'm stuck in a parking lot, waiting on Miss Lovely's next appointment. I'm turning down real dates with hot women...or fucking them up by distraction.

This is my most dangerous game, 'cause thanks to paying all her bills during this extended emergency, the only pussy I see now is Miss Lovely's, exposing my heart to the flame of an unavailable lady with zero interest in monogamy, which is why BF is now insane... I REALLY don't wanna go down that road, no matter how often Miss Lovely begs me to. She's gonna have to be devoted 100% sexually to me, or allow me an open relationship, too. I won't give up my power to be a man...I can't if I want to pay for my life and hers. The only exception I'll allow is letting her play with all the hot ladies she wants...so long as I get to play too. She says she has feelings for me, a side effect of the opiate oxytocin, manufactured inside her brain during the many orgasms I gave her...and perhaps our long discussions on life?

It's a bumpy road, but I'm enjoying the ride...sometimes. I know I could be enjoying it a lot more...

The biggest problem I see with falling for working girls are the illegal drugs...plus their LTR BFs...break one, you've still got the other...beat both and all you got left is a broken doll to fix, love, or throw away... Then there's the thrill of the chased, very tough to beat that addiction, perhaps impossible for "good guys" to replace without joining the Dark Side. But frankly, isn't that what all girls are like? My ex was fucking two guys before I married her -- one married, one abusive. Perhaps a third, she was never clear on that? I have no idea if she was monogamous during our three months living apart after the honeymoon. My X was just as silent treatment as Miss Lovely...with similar backgrounds of rape and amnesia. X had tats and bros jailed for dealing, despite their government jobs. Eventually, X got addicted to legal shit, too. 60% of women are addicted to food -- the deadliest of all opiate addictions, and most damaging to sexual and mental health.

Time to play the Honesty Game

W&H stuck in the Preggie No Sex Zone despite massive investment opportunities...

"So, did you give BF a blowjob this week, or not?"

BF had been bragging about it, but something about his sheepish grin spooked me from a follow-up question. Sometimes it's best not to know...

"Sort of," Miss Lovely explained. "It was just like 30 seconds. He had to finish on his own."

"WTF! You made your own BF give himself a handjob?!" lol

"Yup." ML smiled. That smile makes me smile, but scares me more than a lil bit...a lot, actually. A LOT. Actually, she does the same to me during her three months of preggie celebacy, which I confessed to ML. Can't tell BF that, perhaps that's why I wisely skipped his punchline?

"You know, you really need to ask your (old man-hating-lesbian-or-soon-will-be) therapist to help you figure out why you make almost all your BFs agree to have sex only one day per week. That kills intimacy and love. Which may be why you do it. Let's face it, you have a Hell of a lot more sex than that!"

She mutters some incomprehensible rationalization. "I wish you could know how it is I'm feeling. I'm emotionally fucked up. Then YOU wouldn't feel like that," she explained. "I'm usually fucking 4 or more 'friends' every week, so of course I limit each one to one hour a week so my pussy don't get wore out," she didn't say.

"Hell, I was having way more sex with you than your BF!" That's what friends are for.

She smiles and nods her head... "You're pretty smart, for a guy."

"I'm glad I'm not you're BF! Hahahahahahahaha." Or am I??? O shit. I can't keep up with her 140 I.Q..

Strip Club

ML invites me (to pay for) dinner and a movie with BF. Gotta save money for me and BF to pay her legal and work-related bills. It's a trap.

When I arrive, they're playing the Drinking Game and she's getting whored up for the bikini "dance" club, to play with her girls.

She hasn't learned her life lesson that when the going gets tough, the tough take care of friends -- unlimited fun for free. Guess when it's so easy to buy bitches, booze (and pills), or ho yourself out (one way or another) for "donations", who needs real friends?

Good to see her skills of man manipulation haven't been tempered by the current tempest. (sarcasm)

I agree, it feels nice to blow off steam before exploding. But it just adds to the stress of those who must pay for it. Or try to pay for it. To keep her from going to jail, etc.

We go to her fav club, she immediately hooks up with her fav faux lesbian dancer. Miss Lovely gets a face full of boobies, plus a public breast exam while standing at her old stage. BF paying for a change (because my car runs for free). No money for lapdancing in the VIP makeout booth. She and BF played some pool with their Vixen, while I massaged the beautiful body and legs of a hot little spinner, Cheri, who promptly went psycho when a customer walked up behind her and touched her without asking (jealous of me?). Ha. Typical rape response...guys don't realize how much battle damage these ladies endure. Gotta meet n greet the lady who keeps telling her friends I'm hot...that's what I call potential...wish she'd just introduce herself, or did she? I'm getting a reputation in this club...

Stripper Game

Miss Lovely is now a customer not a lapdancer, so she's fair game for getting played by the dancers. Funny to watch, actually. Glove's on the other foot now! Vixen tells her how she brings home girls to play with her and her BF, but mostly her since BF is not allowed to fuck 'em...but she won't give out her # (or did she?). Same Vixen who lived in a van with hideous BF and babygirl? We've all been there, haven't we? Players get played the hardest, sometimes. Karma's a bitch, in heat.

But it was a nice fantasy evening among friends. ML and BF really needed it, apparently they'd never played pool before. Didn't spend much money, really. Too bad money's so tight at the moment. That will change for all of us very soon. If it don't kill us first. I can think of plenty of things I'd rather be doing...

Time to go to our empty homes.

I hug Vixen a lil too tight. "Thanks for being so nice to my friend."

"You're welcome!" she replied with a surprised look on her pretty face.

ML couldn't stop talking about Vixen's implied "offer" when she got home with BF... Future Broken Heart Syndrome? lol. Hope it's not mine...

* "Escort" does not mean "hooker"

Slut Game

No longer a callgirl, but still horny as a 21-year-old can be without dick for nearly 3 months (except for mine). What's a girl to do when BF only gets it one day a week?

She still answers texts from old BFs she fucked daily in rehab "to relieve the boredom" (just like now when she's clean n sober...), but I'm not allowed to send her sexts anymore, now that BF reads (and answers!) her texts. Fuck I will miss that...with her. "BF can never know!" she warns...

"Why don't you just be honest with him?" Let him make up his own mind if he wants to stick around, clean and sober. Only lies allowed to dull the pain of reality?

Another incomprehensible nonanswer. I guess the world ain't ready for honesty...about anything. Am I ready for it? Can I handle it? Do I really want to?

Now that the Hooker Game is over, I can already feel the Lying Game begin...the favorite game of semipro sluts and manhos everywhere...lol

Be careful what you ask for....... I wish I were her BF...........

I hope it's my dick in ML's pussy...and her friend's

UPDATE: BF has now quit "punching Miss Lovely in the back of the neck," thanks to reading her email links to this blog... Now if I can just get her fuck "friends" from choking her to death... "It's just a fetish. Some people like it to get off. He didn't mean to choke me unconscious. I didn't knwo that at the time, so I fought back as best I could. He figured out I didn't like it when I bit him. It's just a fetish." No, it's either stupid, insane or murder...all because she needed the drugs...that she no longer needs.


by Limp Biskit

I came into this world as a reject
Look into these eyes
Then you'll see the size of these flames
Dwellin on the past
Its burnin' up my brain
Everyone that burns has to learn from the pain
Hey I think about the day
My girlie ran away with my pay
When fellas come to play
No she stuck with my homeez that she fucked
And I'm just a sucker with a lump in my throat
Hey, like a chump
Should I be feelin' bad? No
Should I be feelin good? No
Its kinda sad I'm the laughin' stock of the neighborhood
You would think that I'd be movin' on
But I'm a sucker like I said
Fucked up in the head, not!!
Maybe she just made a mistake
I should give her a break
My heart will ache either way
Hey, what the hell
Watcha want me to say
I wont lie that I cant deny

I did it all for the nookie
The nookie
So you can take that cookie
And stick it up your, yeah!!
Stick it up your, yeah!!
Stick it up your, yeah!!
Why did it take so long?
Why did I wait so long, huh
To figure it out? but I did it
And I'm the only one underneath the sun who didn't get it
I cant believe that I can be deceived
By my so called girl, but in reality
Had hidden agenda
She put my tender heart in a blender
And still I surrendered
Hey, like a chump


I'm only human
Its so easy for your friends to give you their advice
They tell you to let it go
But its easier said then done
I appreciate it
I do, but just leave me alone
Leave me alone
Just leave me alone!!
Just leave me alone!
Aint nothin' gonna change
If you can go away
Im just gonna stay here and always be the same
Aint nothin' gonna change
If you can go away
Im just gonna stay here and always be the same
Aint nothin' gonna change
If you can go away
Im just gonna stay here and always be the same


You Don't Marry The Stripper, You Just Date Her

by Carridale

You're spreading around this town like a fever of a hundred and three but you won't get close to me. This isn't getting any easier, but I don't wanna do away with her. Cut me to my knees it shows me everything I need to know. So come on and just say it. And I'll be sure to listen up for you. I want it all, baby all you could give to just get me through. My head's been spinnning cuz I keep thinking about those summer nights. Our favorite songs played all night long under the start on Chula Vista Dr. And it kills me to understand the lies you fed me at that time, but I'm so pathetic, I don't regret it, I'm still wishin you were hear tonight. So cut me to my knees it shows me everything I need to know, about the way it goes, when a girl like you meets a boy like me. And its all so irrelevant, it's all so decadent. I just can't take it. I'm so frustrated. Because another boy will take you home.

You Can't Turn a Whore into a Lady

by Rebel Son

She's Gone Back To Whorin'

by Roger Allen Wade

She's a-gone back...to whorin'
That's what I heard
She's somewhere snorin'
With some old rich bird
You know the things that I gave her
Musta got kind of borin'
Last that I heard she done
Gone back to whorin'

She's gone back...to whorin'
This ain't her first rodeo
She makin' a fortune
Screwin' dudes she don't know
I asked her she told me
"Darlin' it's my job
I'll suck the chrome off a trailer hitch
'n suck the corn off a cob"

She done gone back...to whorin'
This ain't her first time
I gots some lovin'
When I'm down to my last dime
She look like an angel
But my life's a wreck
I'd go from hell straight to heaven
If she'd take a check

She's gone back...to whorin'
She's a good girl
She got fish net hoes
And too much jerry curl
I miss her when I'm lonesome
When I'm horny real bad
She ain't too cheap, Lord
But she's the best that I've had

She's gone back...to whorin'

Pretty Girl Rock

by Keri Hilson

Uh uh uh ah uh uh
I can do the pretty girl rock, rock
Rock to the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Now what's your name

My name is Keri, I'm so very
Fly oh my, it's a little bit scary
Boys wanna marry, looking at my derrière
And you can stare but if you touch it Imma bury

Pretty as a picture
Sweeter than a swisher
Mad 'cause I'm cuter than the girl that's with you
I don't gotta talk about it baby you can see it
But if you want I'll be happy to repeat it

My name is Keri, I'm so very
Fly oh my, it's a little bit scary
Boys wanna marry, looking at my derrière
And you can stare but if you touch it Imma bury

Pretty as a picture
Sweeter than a swisher
Mad 'cause I'm cuter than the girl that's with you
I can talk about it 'cause I know that I'm pretty
And if you know it too then ladies sing it with me

All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk, the way I drip
It's not my fault, so please don't trip
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful

Aye, now do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock
All my ladies do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock

(Now where you at?)
If your looking for me you can catch me (that's why)
Cameras flashing, daddy turned his head just as soon as I passed him
Girls think I'm conceited 'cause I know I'm attractive
Don't worry about what I think, why don't you ask him? (owoaah!)

Get yourself together, don't hate (never do it)
Jealousy is the ugliest trait (don't, never do it)
I can talk about it 'cause I know that I'm pretty
And if you know it too then ladies sing it with me

All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk, the way I drip
It's not my fault so please don't trip
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful

Doing the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock
Do the pretty girl rock, rock

All my ladies do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Get along with your pretty girl rock, rock, rock
Still show me your pretty girl rock, rock, rock
All my ladies do the pretty girl rock, rock, rock

Sing it with me now
All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk, the way I drip
It's not my fault so please don't trip
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful

All eyes on me when I walk in,
No question that this girl's a 10
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
My walk, my talk, the way I drip
It's not my fault so please don't trip
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful
Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful


Best Day Of My Life

by American Authors

I had a dream so big and loud
I jumped so high I touched the clouds
Wo-oah-oah-oah-oah-oh x2
I stretched my hands out to the sky
We danced with monsters through the night
Wo-oah-oah-oah-oah-oh x2

I'm never gonna look back
Woah, never gonna give it up
No, please dont wake me now

This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-i-i-ife
This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-i-i-ife


I howled at the moon with friends
And then the sun came crashing in
Wo-oah-oah-oah-oah-oh x2
But all the possibilities
No limits just epiphanies
Wo-oah-oah-oah-oah-oh x2

I'm never gonna look back
Woah, never gonna give it up
No, just dont wake me now

This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-i-i-ife
This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-i-i-ife


I hear it calling outside my window
I feel it in my soul (soul)
The stars were burning so bright
The sun was out 'til midnight
I say we lose control (control)


This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-i-i-ife
This is gonna be the best day of my life
My li-i-i-i-i-ife
This is gonna be, this is gonna be, this is gonna be
The best day of my life
Everything is looking up, everybody up now
This is gonna be the best day of my li-ife
My li-i-i-i-i-ife

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September 1, 2019 at 11:58 PM

Secret 1 A Dating Lesson from Sir Lancelot: A method for winning hearts
Secret 2 Your Positive Attitude = Deeper Commitment From Him?
Secret 3 How to Discuss Where the Relationship is Going
Secret 4 The Secret "P Word" That Will Make Or Break Your Relationships
Secret 5 Getting Specific About the Kind of Man You Want
Secret 6 Balanced Pursuit
Secret 7 Best Date Conversation Topics
Secret 8 The #1 method for building emotional intimacy with a man
Secret 9 How to Make Affirmations Works
Secret 10 Should I Use Online Dating Sites or Is That A Waste Of Time?
Secret 11 Are there any tricks to making a man fall in love with you?
Secret 12 Guys and Emotions: Why Won't he open up?
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September 15, 2019 at 3:18 AM

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